


A Thousand Moments

by mikkimouse



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coma, Hospitalization, Hurt Kotetsu, M/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-03 19:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13348065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikkimouse/pseuds/mikkimouse
Summary: They've done what they can, the doctor says. They've stabilized him. He's been moved into the ICU. The next twenty-four to forty-eight hours are critical.He's still not awake.Barnaby can't imagine how he'll survive the next two days.





	A Thousand Moments

**Author's Note:**

> Me after finishing T&B: Wow, that arc was _painful_. How would Barnaby react if Kotetsu was _really_ hurt?  
>  My brain: ...hey, so, you know what would be a great fic to write...  
> Me: NO.  
> My utter lack of self-control, base-jumping into a pit of feels like Parker from Leverage: YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
> 
> So here, have ~10,000 words of Barnaby angst, because it's not like the show dumped on him ENOUGH. Spoilers for the series (particularly season 2), but not canon-compliant with The Rising, because I haven't seen it yet. 
> 
> If I've missed any tags, please let me know.
> 
> A huge, massive thank you to [domesticated-chaos](http://domesticated-chaos.tumblr.com/), who not only helped drag me into this fandom, but also beta'd this fic and helped me fix it while screaming curses and imprecations at me all the while. You are, as always, the absolute best, m'dear. <3

Fifty-two seconds. 

Since Kotetsu's powers have been dropping, Barnaby has two timers running in his suit: one that starts when he activates his power, and one that starts when Kotetsu activates his. A lot can happen in a minute, and while he doesn't usually need to worry, he also doesn't want to miss it when Kotetsu's powers run out. Just in case Kotetsu is doing something stupid or heroic or (more likely) some combination thereof, which he will need _someone's_ help to get out of.

But it's only been fifty-two seconds when he hears Kotetsu curse softly in his ear, and then the building comes down.

***

Kotetsu isn't moving.

His armor is half-crushed and his helmet visor is missing and his eyes are closed and he _isn't moving_. 

Barnaby knows he should look for a pulse, should check his breathing, should do _something_ , but he's frozen. All he can do is hold Kotetsu in his arms and will him to open his eyes. 

"Barnaby. _Barnaby!_ " 

Saito's voice in his ear snaps him out of it, enough that he can speak. "Saito. I—he's—"

"He's alive!" That's Ben, not Saito. "Barnaby, he's alive, but you have to get him to the hospital, _now_."

Barnaby cradles Kotetsu in his arms and jumps.

***

He has two minutes and thirty-three seconds left before his power runs out. It takes him forty-two seconds to get from the site of the attack to the hospital. Three nurses are waiting for him with a gurney; Ben and Saito must have notified them he was coming.

He puts Kotetsu down on the gurney. The fluorescent lights make his skin look sickly green, and now Barnaby can see the blood that he missed earlier. 

He is shaking. 

The nurses wheel Kotetsu away, and Barnaby follows, jogging to keep up with them. 

They start down another hallway, and then someone slaps a hand on his chest, stopping him. 

Barnaby pushes the hand away. He can't leave Kotetsu, not now, not when—

"You can't go back there, Mr. Brooks." 

He blinks at the sound of his name, looks down at the nurse in front of him. She stands there with her arms outstretched, like she's ready to physically block him from going to Kotetsu. 

"I have to," he says, and tries to push his way past her. "I have to—he's my—" 

"They're taking him into surgery, Mr. Brooks," the nurse says. "You _can't_ go back there. You got Mr. Tiger here in time. Now let us do our jobs." 

He stares at her, at a complete loss of what to do. Some small part of his mind knows that she's right, knows that he can't be in the operating room while they're trying to save Kotetsu, but the larger part of him has no idea what to do if he can't be by Kotetsu's side. He _has_ to be there. It's where he belongs.

The nurse's face softens, and she takes him by the hand and leads him to a waiting room, sitting him down on the couch like he's a child. "You can wait here," she says kindly. "The doctors will come out to talk to you when they have news. Can I get you something?"

Barnaby shakes his head.

"Is there anyone else we should contact?" 

_His daughter_ , Barnaby thinks. _His mother._

But he doesn't know how to contact them, and he doesn't think he can form the words right now to explain even if he did. 

The nurse pats his shoulder and leaves him in the waiting room. 

Barnaby is still shaking.

***

Ben arrives fifteen minutes later and pulls him to his feet. "Come on, Barnaby."

Barnaby jerks out of his grasp. "I'm not leaving him." 

Ben rests a hand on his shoulder. "Of course you're not. You're just changing out of that suit. We have the van downstairs." 

Barnaby looks down. He completely forgot he was still in his suit, scuffed and soot-covered from the rescue operation.

Ben sighs and steers him toward the doors. 

"What if they come back with news?" Barnaby asks. 

"Nurse says he's going to be in surgery for a while," Ben says grimly. "I think we'll be okay." 

Barnaby looks at him. Ben looks like he's aged a decade in the past few hours, and he stares down the hallway with his jaw set. 

"I'm sorry," Barnaby whispers. "I should've—"

" _No_ ," Ben says gruffly. "It's not your fault. You got him out of there." 

_But it might not be enough_ , Barnaby thinks. The words are stuck in his throat, behind a lump that keeps growing, and he has no idea what's going to happen to him when the lump gets too big. 

Ben sighs. "Go get changed."

***

Barnaby takes a perfunctory shower in the van, changes clothes, accepts the water bottle Saito practically shoves at him, and is back in the waiting room in less than twenty minutes. Ben is sitting in one of the chairs, hands dangling between his knees. 

He glances up when Barnaby walks in. "No news. His family's on their way." 

Barnaby nods and sits back down on the couch where the nurse put him originally. Of course there's no news. It hasn't even been an hour since he brought Kotetsu here. 

It feels like it's been an eternity. 

He takes a sip of water, sets the bottle on the small table beside him, and promptly forgets about it. Every time someone passes by the waiting room, he jerks his head up to see if they have news. But it's just a nurse, a janitor, a resident. Nobody's coming to look for him. Nobody's coming to tell him how Kotetsu is doing, how the surgery's going, if he's going to make it or—

Barnaby buries his face in his hands. He hates not knowing, hates feeling helpless, hates this cold, gnawing ache in his chest like a fist of ice has seized hold of his heart. He hates that Kotetsu could be _dying_ right now and instead of being beside him, he has to be out here, waiting for _someone else_ to tell him how his partner is. 

He wants to know for himself. 

He reaches for his powers, but they're not there yet, and he curses inwardly at every minute he has to wait for them to recover. 

When they finally activate, he closes his eyes and _listens._

He hasn't done this often, not with hearing, but he's done it occasionally with his eyesight. He's learned how to block other things out and focus, stretching his senses to the very limits that his power gives him.

He follows the sounds down the hallway where they took Kotetsu, listening for anything that will tell him where he is, anything that will tell him how the surgery is going. Anything that will tell him if Kotetsu is still alive. 

He hears a myriad of medical speak, asking for medicine and tools he doesn't recognize, and then—

"Stay with us, Mr. Tiger." 

He freezes and focuses on that doctor and that room. If he focuses enough in that _particular_ area, he can hear...

He can hear Kotetsu breathing. 

It's raspy and a little hollow and too regular, like a machine is helping him, but he's breathing. That's all Barnaby needs to know. 

He listens to Kotetsu breathe, in and out, for five minutes, until his powers fade and the only thing he can hear is his own ragged breath. 

He wipes sweat from his forehead and checks the time. 10:47.

At 11:47, he'll listen again.

***

_  
Shortly after he became a hero, they had him do an interview with one of the larger magazines to introduce himself to the public, as it were. The interviewer mostly asked softball questions, since it was a puff piece. When did he learn he was a NEXT? Why did he want to become a hero? Was he excited about joining the First League?_

_They were easy enough to answer, easy enough to smile and give the responses he knew she was looking for._

_"So, this is new, you having a partner," she said. "Have you two known each other long? How do you feel about working together?"_

__I don't need a partner, _he thought darkly,_ least of all one like him.

_"We've only just met," he said, with a smile on his face. "So I really can't say. I think it'll be interesting, though."_

_"Great!" She scribbled on her notepad. "And one more question. This one's a little more personal. Anyone special in your life right now?"_

_He laughed a little. "No, not at all. I'm more focused on being a hero right now."_

_There was nobody he trusted to get that close. Nobody._

__

***

He's halfway through listening to Kotetsu breathe for the third time when someone touches his shoulder and startles him so badly he nearly falls off the couch. 

Kaede is sitting next to him, eyes huge. "Sorry!" she says. "Sorry, I didn't—"

He stares at her. He's still not entirely convinced he isn't seeing things. "Kaede?" 

She clenches her fists and looks up at him. Her eyes shine with tears, but they don't fall. "Is Dad going to be okay?" 

What is he supposed to say to that? He feels like he should be trying to comfort her, trying to make it sound less awful than it is, but Kaede's not an idiot. She'll know if he's lying. All he can tell her is the absolute truth: he doesn't know. None of them know. 

But he can't say that. He can't say it, because if he says it out loud, it will make it real, and the very thin band holding him together is going to snap. 

Kaede's still staring at him, and he sees mirrored on her face the same gut-wrenching fear he feels. It hits him that by not saying anything, he's told her everything she needs to know. 

She glares down at her lap and her breath hitches, and Barnaby knows he has to do _something_ because Kotetsu will _kill him_ if he makes Kaede cry.

"He's still alive," he says, because that's true, at least.

She snaps her head back around to him. "How do you know?" 

"I can hear him breathing."

" _How?_ " Kaede demands. "Your power?" 

He wonders how she guessed, and then remembers he's currently glowing bright blue, at least for another minute. Barnaby nods. 

"Can I?" she asks.

He holds out his hand. Kaede grabs it and immediately activates the Hundred Power. 

He hasn't ever had to walk anyone else through this, so he's not sure how well he'll do or quickly she'll grasp it. "Focus on your hearing," he says, trying to keep his voice as quiet as possible. "The surgery is in front of us, slightly to the right. Listen for the doctor who's talking about repairing a collapsed lung."

"I hear it," she says after a few seconds.

"Now listen for the only person in that room who sounds like they're breathing with a machine."

Kaede squeezes his hand tighter. "Is that...Dad?" 

"Yes," Barnaby says. 

He listens for only ten more seconds before his power fades, but beside him, Kaede remains glowing blue, her eyes squeezed shut, her jaw set, and her hand clutching his like it's a lifeline. 

After five minutes, the glow fades, and Kaede blinks and looks up at him. "One hour?" 

Barnaby nods. 

She nods back, and settles against the couch to wait. She doesn't let go of his hand. 

But then again, he doesn't let go of hers, either.

***

They take turns listening. It doesn't _help_ , exactly, to have Kaede there—the only thing that will help is seeing Kotetsu walk out of the surgery alive and well and laughing—but it makes Barnaby feel a little less like he's going to crack at any minute, makes his chest feel a little less like shards are piercing it every time he inhales. He doesn't have to wait an hour between knowing if Kotetsu is still breathing or not. He only has to wait thirty minutes. 

From the grimly determined look on Kaede's face, she probably feels much the same way. 

Around four in the morning, Ben comes over to suggest that Kaede get some sleep.

She squeezes Barnaby's fingers. "No." 

Ben looks at him, like he thinks Barnaby is going to back him up on this.

"She said no," Barnaby says.

Ben sighs. "Kaede—" 

She gives him an absolutely withering glare. " _No_." 

He turns back to Barnaby, and Barnaby shrugs. Ben can ask all he wants, but Barnaby isn't going to make Kaede do anything that she doesn't want to. He's not sleeping until he knows how Kotetsu is; he sure as hell isn't going to ask her to.

Around 6:30, Kaede drops off against his shoulder. Barnaby doesn't move her and glares at anyone who tries to. She's fine, just tired, and he has a feeling that moving her will only wake her up and then she'll refuse to get any more sleep.

Exhaustion is pulling at him, too, and it's only partly the lack of sleep. He's never used his powers like this before, activating them as soon as they've cooled down every hour on the dot. Usually, he only does it twice in a row, although he's done it three times very, very rarely. Now, he's only a few minutes away from starting a tenth time.

Frankly, he's surprised Kaede lasted as long as she did.

Sometime after the eleventh time, a doctor finally walks into the waiting room. Barnaby just barely remembers to shake Kaede awake before he jumps to his feet. 

_How is he? Will he be okay? Is he awake?_

The questions batter his tongue, and Barnaby has to fight to keep from blurting them all out at once.

Kaede, however, has no such compunctions. "Where's my dad? Is he okay? Can I see him?" 

"Mr. Tiger is out of surgery," the doctor says. "He's stable for now, but his condition is..." He sighs and gestures at the chairs. "Please, sit down. This could take some time."

Barnaby sits, Kaede next to him, and still clinging to his hand like it's a lifeline. 

"Kaede," Mrs. Kaburagi says gently, "why don't you go down to the cafeteria to get some breakfast?" 

Kaede sucks in a breath. 

"Let her stay," Barnaby says before Kaede can argue. "She'll hear it all anyway, no matter where you send her."

Mrs. Kaburagi and Muramasa share a look with Ben, and Barnaby is pretty sure he'll be in trouble later for essentially teaching an 11-year-old how to use superpowers to eavesdrop. He really doesn't care.

Kaede slams herself against the back of the couch and glares at the others, like she's daring them to try and move her. 

Mrs. Kaburagi sighs and turns back to the doctor. "Please, tell us how he is."

***

The answer is, of course, not good. 

They've done what they can, the doctor says. They've stabilized him. He's been moved into the ICU. The next twenty-four to forty-eight hours are critical. 

He's still not awake.

Barnaby spent nearly twenty minutes thinking Kotetsu was dead once before, and it almost killed him. He can't imagine how he'll survive the next two days. 

"You can go in to see him now," the doctor says. "Only two at a time in the ICU." 

Kaede's on her feet before the doctor finishes his sentence. "We're going first." 

"Kaede," Mrs. Kaburagi chides, "you should _ask_ Mr. Brooks first if he wants to take you." 

The look of absolute bug-eyed disbelief Kaede gives her would be enough to have Barnaby laughing any other time. But if he laughs now—if he does _anything_ now—he's probably going to start crying, and then he's probably not going to be able to stop.

Kaede turns slowly back to him, the same look on her face, like she can't believe how ridiculous this is, but she's going to ask the question even though she _knows_ the answer. 

He wonders, fleetingly, if this is what Kotetsu was like as a kid. He wouldn't be surprised if it was.

"It's okay," Barnaby says before Kaede can ask. 

It's okay, because he's selfish, he's so _fucking_ selfish, he can't go another minute without seeing Kotetsu now that they're able to. And he's not above using Kaede for that. 

She drags him off the couch without another word, and then down the hall after the doctor. Barnaby has to make himself pay attention to where they're going, so he'll know how to get here again, but it's hard when his heart is in his throat and he has no idea how Kotetsu is going to look when he sees him, only knows that it will be bad. 

The room is quiet and dim, the only light coming from an east-facing window in the back and a small fluorescent light over a sink. There's one chair in the corner near the door, and the rest of the room is dominated by the bed and the gigantic monitor behind it. 

He knows, logically, that Kotetsu is on the bed. But there are a hundred different wires coming off his body, IVs, a steadily beeping heart monitor, and a tube down his throat. He looks...small, and frail, and those are two words that Barnaby has never, ever applied to Kotetsu in the two and a half years they've been working together. 

Kaede lets go of his hand and runs to the side of the bed. "Dad?" 

There's no answer. Of course there's no answer. Just the beeping of the heart monitor and the steady sound of breathing through a ventilator. 

Barnaby walks to the other side of the bed and takes Kotetsu's hand as gently as he can manage. There's a pulse monitor on one of his fingers and an IV taped just below his elbow. For some unfathomable reason, they've left his Wild Tiger mask on, and there's something so patently ridiculous about it that Barnaby has to clench his jaw to keep from breaking down. 

He runs his thumb along the side of Kotetsu's and wishes he could do more than just _this_. 

Kaede is clinging to Kotetsu's shoulder, one of the only parts of him that isn't hooked up to something, and tears stream silently down her face. 

She looks up at Barnaby. "He's still alive." 

He nods. "He is." 

And at least this time, they can listen to him breathe together.

***

_"What's your greatest fear?"_

_It was one of the first interviews he'd done after coming back to hero work, following Kotetsu back in because God knew someone needed to watch his back, and at this point, that was second nature for Barnaby. Becoming_ actually _famous meant the questions got a lot more personal, even more so since between Jake and Maverick, most of his personal issues had been aired on live television for everybody to see._

_This interviewer smiled like a shark before he asked the question. "What's your greatest fear?"_

_There were too damn many to list. That his memories weren't real. That Maverick did worse things to him that he'd never, ever remember. That he'd forget Kotetsu again. That the next time Kotetsu went limp in his arms, he wouldn't get back up._

_Those were the ones that had Barnaby bolting awake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, struggling to calm his racing heart._

_"Spiders," he said._

_The interviewer blinked. "Spiders?"_

_"Spiders," Barnaby repeated firmly. "Can't stand them. Creepy little things. They scare me to death."_

_They wrapped the interview shortly after that, and Barnaby walked outside, where Kotetsu was waiting for him. From the scowl on his face, Barnaby guessed he'd heard the whole thing._

_But Kotetsu didn't ask. He just slung his arm around Barnaby's shoulders, a steady, comforting gesture. "Need a drink?"_

_Barnaby leaned into him. "Yes."_

_He could deal with this, all of this, as long as he had Kotetsu here to support him.  
_

***

They spend the rest of the day trading off who's in the room when. By some unspoken agreement, Barnaby and Kaede end up going back together every time. Mid-afternoon, when Muramasa and Mrs. Kaburagi come back out, Ben says he's going to take them to get a hotel room so they can get some rest. 

He says this with a significant look at Barnaby. Barnaby ignores it entirely and promises to contact them if there's any change. 

In the ICU, he pulls the lone chair as close to Kotetsu's bed as he can manage it, so Kaede will have somewhere to sit. She's still awake at the moment, but she's starting to sway on her feet, and Barnaby is pretty sure the only reason Mrs. Kaburagi left her here is because she thinks he is somehow capable of looking after both himself and Kaede. 

He's not really sure he's capable of looking out for a houseplant right now, let alone an 11-year-old girl, but he's also fairly certain that Kaede would have had a meltdown if they tried to make her leave. 

So he's fine with pretending. 

Sure enough, within fifteen minutes, Kaede is curled up on the chair and fast asleep, one hand still wrapped loosely around Kotetsu's.

Barnaby stands on the other side as before, holding Kotetsu's hand and willing him to wake up. 

_Come on, old man_ , he thinks. _You survived Jake. You survived the android. You survived Maverick turning the entire city against you. You survived_ me _trying to kill you. You can't get taken out by a_ building _. That's ridiculous. You're Wild Tiger. You're my partner._

_I can't keep going if you're not here._

A heavy hand lands on his shoulder. "Barnaby?" 

He jerks away from the touch and sees Antonio standing there. It's almost dark outside again. He's not entirely sure how long he's been standing here, only that his legs are starting to hurt and he's not positive that he didn't fall asleep standing up.

Antonio holds up his hands. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." 

Barnaby rubs the bridge of his nose under his glasses. "It's fine. When did you get here?" 

"About half an hour ago." Antonio sticks his hands in his pockets. "Nathan's in the waiting room with Kotetsu's brother. Keith says he'll come by before he goes on patrol."

"The others?" 

"They'll be here sometime tonight or tomorrow morning," Antonio says. "Have you eaten anything?" 

Two bites of a sandwich that Ben brought around noon count as "anything," so Barnaby says, "Yes." 

"Have you slept?" 

"I'm not tired." 

Antonio frowns. "You need to take care of yourself." 

"I'm fine," Barnaby says, even though he hasn't been this far from "fine" in over twenty years. 

From the way his frown deepens, Antonio very clearly does not believe him. He walks around the foot of the bed and picks Kaede up. "Come on," he says. "You need to rest, and I have to yell at my best friend." 

Barnaby doesn't move. He doesn't want to leave, and he doesn't want to leave Kotetsu alone. 

"I _can_ carry both of you," Antonio says. "And I will."

For a half second, Barnaby's tempted to make him prove it. Instead, he makes himself let go of Kotetsu's hand and follows Antonio back to the waiting room. 

Sure enough, Nathan is there, blatantly flirting with Muramasa, who is gradually turning a duller red by the second. The television is on low volume, nearly silent interviews with the heroes playing on the screen. 

Antonio deposits Kaede on the couch. She immediately jerks back awake. "Where's Dad?" 

"Still breathing," Barnaby says quietly. 

Antonio pats her head. "We'll keep an eye on him, kid." He looks over at Barnaby. "Why don't you two take a break for a couple of hours? Go get something to eat?" 

"I'm fine," Barnaby says again. 

Kaede crosses her arms and glares. "I'm not leaving until Dad wakes up."

"You've been here for nearly twenty-four hours," Muramasa says. "You need to sleep, Kaede." 

Her glare is terrifyingly impressive. "No. If Barnaby's not leaving, I'm not leaving." 

Both Antonio and Muramasa turn in unison to look at him, and Barnaby realizes that they're expecting him to agree to take her somewhere else. They're expecting him to agree to leave the hospital.

_Goddammit_. 

He doesn't want to leave. There isn't any _point_ in leaving. He won't be able to eat. Even if he's exhausted, he knows he won't sleep. And the idea of being somewhere other than this building if something changes with Kotetsu makes his stomach turn, makes the brittle glass in his chest crack a bit more. 

But he can't explain that. He can't explain that it's foolish to make Kaede leave, too, when he's pretty sure the only reason she can sleep _here_ is because she knows she's close to her father. He can't explain it's the dumbest thing in the world to force a child to walk away from one parent when they've already lost the other. 

"Barnaby, you can take her to your place for a few hours, can't you?" Antonio says. 

Barnaby stares, because he literally cannot believe he just heard that suggestion come out of Antonio's mouth. "What." 

"Oh, that would be fun!" Nathan exclaims, and of course _now_ is when he decides to speak up. "You'd love that, wouldn't you, sweetheart? You'd get to see the apartment of the great Barnaby Brooks, Jr.!" 

Kaede stares at him with a look of utter disbelief. 

Barnaby understands the sentiment exactly. He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose and sighs. "Do you really think she cares about that right now?"

Nathan winks at him. "Don't sell yourself short, handsome." 

Barnaby is going to strangle him.

Antonio ushers both of them out of the waiting room. "Go on, go home, get some food, get some sleep. We'll let you know if anything changes." 

"I don't—" Barnaby starts to argue. 

Antonio crosses his arms over his chest and levels a glare at him. "I _can_ carry both of you." 

Kaede sticks her tongue out at him. 

Barnaby realizes they're either going to walk out of the hospital on their own or be physically escorted from the premises, but either way, he and Kaede are apparently not staying here. 

He sighs and puts a hand on her shoulder. "We'll be back soon."

***

It's fully dark by the time they get outside. Barnaby calls them a car to drive them back to his apartment, because the only other option is walking and he's not up for walking that far. Fortunately, the driver doesn't talk to them beyond the necessary pleasantries, and within fifteen minutes, they're back at his apartment and Barnaby doesn't have the slightest clue what to do. 

Kaede looks around the main room, and then looks back up at him. "You don't have a lot of stuff, do you?" 

There hasn't been much he's felt like keeping around, and it doesn't feel like the question warrants an answer, anyway. "The bathroom's back there, if you need it." He rubs the back of his neck. "Do you want something to eat?" 

Kaede shrugs and peers at the table, then points at the robot toy. "What's that?" 

"A toy," Barnaby says. 

"Why do you have that?" 

"My parents gave it to me," he says, and tenses himself for another follow-up question. 

But Kaede moves on to looking at the (admittedly few) other items on the table. "Did they give you the Christmas tree pin, too?" 

"No." 

"Who did?" 

Barnaby tightens his jaw. "Your dad." 

She gives him a piercing look, and Barnaby is painfully aware he's probably admitted too much. Kotetsu has a way of making connections from very little information, even if it's a skill he doesn't often _use_ ; it would not surprise him to know Kaede can do the same. 

"I'm going to make some dinner," he says, both to give himself something to do and to get out of the room while she's poking around.

He doesn't flee, exactly, but he does walk quickly into the kitchen and starts getting the things out to make fried rice, because at this point he's made it enough that he's pretty sure he can finish something edible even if it feels like his brain is wrapped in cotton. 

He puts water on to boil for the rice and starts peeling and chopping the carrots and onions. 

_"Hey, Bunny, you're chopping them too small."_

_Barnaby tried to elbow Kotetsu out of the way without cutting himself on the knife. "I'm chopping them just fine. I thought you were supposed to be relaxing."_

_Kotetsu wormed his hand around to snatch chopped carrots off the cutting board. "I am relaxing."_

_"You're backseat cooking." Barnaby pointed the knife at the chair. "Go sit down."_

_"You're still chopping them too small!"_

_"They're the same size as the peas!"_

_"No, they aren't!"_

_"Do you want to try my fried rice or not?"_

_"Of course I do!"_

_"Then get out of the kitchen!" He swatted Kotetsu's hand away from the cutting board. "And quit stealing my carrots!"_

"Barnaby?" 

He looks up at Kaede— _up_ , because apparently he's sitting on the kitchen floor, leaning up against the cabinets. The knife and cutting board are on the floor beside him, and carrots and onions are scattered across the tile. He's not entirely sure how he got down here. 

His hands are shaking. 

Kaede turns off the stove and picks her way across the floor to sit beside him. "Fried rice?" she asks. 

He's absurdly grateful she doesn't ask how he is. "Yes." 

"It's Dad's favorite." 

_I know_. "Yes." 

She bites her lips and hugs her knees to her chest. "I'm scared, too."

And what is he supposed to say to that? He's not just scared; he's _terrified_ , and it pushes cold shards of glass into his chest with every breath he takes. He feels like his entire life is balanced precariously on the edge of a knife, and every second that passes could bring the news that pushes him off the edge one way or another.

He's well aware the only reason he's even close to functioning like a normal person is because of Kotetsu. The idea of trying to do so without him is utterly incomprehensible. 

Beside him, Kaede buries her face in her knees, and it sounds like she's trying very hard not to cry. 

Barnaby doesn't have the slightest idea of what to do. He has the fleeting thought he should tell her it's okay to be scared, it's okay to cry, but both of those things sound stupid, and besides, he's certain she knows.

He lifts his arm and drops it around her shoulders in an awkward hug. She leans against him, and they sit there on his kitchen floor, staring at the tile. He knows he should get up, clean up the mess, do _something_ , but right now, breathing is about all he's capable of. 

"Where did you get a stuffed rabbit?" Kaede asks after a solid ten minutes of silence. 

He clears his throat. "Birthday present." 

"From Dad?" Her voice is very small at the end of the question.

He shakes his head. "The other heroes." 

"What's its name?" 

"What makes you think it has a name?" 

She pulls back enough to give him a side-eye. "Because stuffed animals _always_ have names." 

He thinks about arguing with her, but in this case, she's right. "Bunny-chan." 

She snorts. "Creative, naming your rabbit Bunny-chan." 

If she doesn't know where the name came from—Barnaby knows Kotetsu's used it in a few interviews—he's sure as hell not telling her. "I'm not that creative," he says, and sighs at the state of his kitchen. "I should clean this up."

"I'll help," Kaede says. 

He shakily gets to his feet and helps her up. Kaede sweeps the floor, and he puts away the rest of the food and the dishes he got out. They work quietly, and it's amazing how quickly things are cleaned up. Then again, it's not like he leaves much out to clean, anyway. This is probably the messiest his apartment has been in months. 

He thinks about how Kotetsu always manages to leave a mess behind, and resolutely shoves the thought out of his mind. He thinks about never hearing Kotetsu call him "Bunny" again, and shoves that thought away as well. 

As soon as they're finished, Kaede looks back toward his front door. Barnaby can practically read her mind. 

He sighs again. He doesn't know why anyone thought they'd last an hour. "Do you want to pick up dinner on the way back to the hospital?" 

She doesn't argue, or say she wants to stay. She just nods.

***

Antonio is still there when they get back, and he looks supremely disappointed to see them. Barnaby sets the giant burger in front of him like a peace offering. 

"Don't make me leave again," he says where no one else can hear him. "Or her." 

Antonio just raises his eyebrows. "It's not good for Kaede to be here all the time." 

"Try asking her what _she_ wants," Barnaby says, and goes to eat his own dinner. 

He can only stomach a few bites, but at least it's more than he could do for lunch.

***

He spends the night in the waiting room again, mostly because they won't let him back into the ICU after ten. This time, Kaede is the only one who stays, and she falls asleep on the couch under Barnaby's jacket. 

Barnaby activates his powers every hour, focuses down the hallway, and listens to Kotetsu breathe.

***

The next day passes in a blur, much like the previous one. Barnaby wakes Kaede up as soon as it's eight and they're allowed to go back, and they stay in the ICU until Ben shows up to let them know Muramasa and Mrs. Kaburagi are there. This time, the other heroes show up throughout the day—Keith and Ivan, Nathan and Antonio again, Karina and Pao-Lin. They stop and say hi to him, but fortunately none of them expect Barnaby to actually carry on a conversation. 

Kotetsu still doesn't wake up.

***

That night, the nurses relent and let him and Kaede stay in the ICU, as long as they stay out of the way when the nurses come in to do their rounds. Barnaby swears up and down he and Kaede will hardly be noticeable, because he will promise _anything_ to be allowed to stay. 

The only concession the nurses make to two extra people in the room is to bring in another chair. 

Barnaby still spends most of his time standing beside Kotetsu's bed, holding his hand, listening to him breathe. Kaede resumes her usual position curled up in her chair, one hand wrapped around Kotetsu's, and drops off to sleep. 

Barnaby's not sure what time it is when he gives in and pulls the extra chair around the bed so that he can sit down, but the window is just starting to lighten. He's exhausted; he's dozed maybe forty-five minutes in the last forty-eight hours on top of using his power more than he ever has, but he doesn't think he could manage to sleep. 

He rests his head on the side of the bed and tries to breathe. 

"Why do you always do things like this?" he whispers. "You put yourself in danger, you do things that are stupid and heroic without thinking about _yourself_ , and you leave the rest of us to pick up the pieces if something happens to you. So you had better wake up, Kotetsu Kaburagi. You have too many people here who need you." 

He looks up, but there's no sign Kotetsu can hear him, or has heard him. Not a flicker of an eyelid or anything. 

The shards inside him crack a little more, and Barnaby drops his head back to the bed. "Please," he whispers, but he's not sure who he's pleading with. "Please, Kotetsu, I need you. I can't do this without you. I tried. It didn't work. So please, just...wake up. Please. Don't leave me alone."

It's so hard to breathe, and his eyes burn with unshed tears. He tries to think about what he'll do if Kotetsu never wakes up, and the thought makes the cracks in his chest even bigger. He can't. He _can't_. He'll break, and this time there won't be anyone there to help him pick up the pieces.

A hand settles in his hair, heavy and warm and large enough to span the back of his head. 

Barnaby freezes. He's almost too afraid to look. He's too afraid because, if he's imagining things, it's going to kill him. 

But the hand on his head doesn't go away, and a thumb rubs a small circle in his hair. 

Barnaby looks up. 

Kotetsu's eyes are open. Barely, but they're open, and he's looking at Barnaby. 

It feels like someone's strapped a vise around his chest, and suddenly, breathing is even harder than it was a few seconds before. "Kotetsu?" 

His eyes crinkle at the corners, like he's trying to smile. 

Barnaby grabs his hand, and Kotetsu squeezes it, not as hard as he's capable of, but firmly enough that Barnaby knows this isn't a dream. 

Kotetsu is awake. 

Barnaby is on his feet before he remembers that Kotetsu is still hooked up a dozen different ways, and he's not sure it's safe to hug him. He settles for squeezing his hand back, hard. "Took you long enough," he says, trying to keep his tone light and missing it by a mile. 

Kotetsu exhales, and his brow furrows like he's annoyed. He turns his head to the side, where Kaede is sleeping, and squeezes her hand. Kaede doesn't stir. 

Kotetsu turns his head back to Barnaby and makes the most ungodly groan Barnaby has ever heard in his life. 

It takes every ounce of control Barnaby possesses not to break out into hysterical laughter right there. "What was _that_?" 

Kotetsu turns his head back to Kaede and squeezes her hand again. She still doesn't stir, and his frown deepens. 

Barnaby leans across the bed and shakes her firmly. "Kaede, wake up." 

Kaede jerks her head up, blinking blearily. "What? What's going on? What—" 

Kotetsu lifts his hand in a small wave. 

Kaede's eyes go huge. " _Dad!_ " 

She's out of the chair and making the same aborted hug motion that Barnaby did, before she grabs his shoulder and buries her face there. "You're okay, you're okay, you're okay—" 

Kotetsu closes his eyes, but he lifts his right hand again, like he's trying to pat her shoulder. 

The vise in his chest feels like it's moving up to his throat, and Barnaby starts to feel like he might be an interloper here. He makes a move to leave, to give Kotetsu and Kaede some time together, when the grip on his hand tightens. 

He looks back to Kotetsu, who's still holding his hand and very clearly not letting go of it. Kotetsu narrows his eyes, like he's trying to force Barnaby to read his mind. 

They're still not _that_ good at communicating, but Barnaby can guess what he wants. "Do you want me to stay?" 

Kotetsu nods. 

"Okay," Barnaby says, and sits back down. 

Kotetsu closes his eyes again, but this time he's still holding Barnaby's hand, his thumb gently rubbing up and down. 

The glass inside him finally shatters completely. Barnaby rests his head on the bed, closes his eyes, and cries.

***

_"What's the happiest you've ever been?" the interviewer asked._

_That was a question that somehow had never come up before, and it was surprising enough that Barnaby had to think about it. "Happy" wasn't really an emotion he'd experienced much, although he supposed the closest he'd come was when it turned out Kotetsu hadn't been killed fighting the android. But that was...so much more powerful and confusing than just "happy."_

_"That's hard," he said, stalling for time. "I suppose when my parents' killer was finally caught."_

_That wasn't right, either, but the interviewer looked satisfied with the answer._

_As usual, Kotetsu was waiting outside, leaning against the wall. "Ah, there you are, Bunny. Took you long enough."_

_"It was a ten-minute interview," Barnaby said. "And you should be doing them, too."_

_Kotetsu waved the comment away and shoved off the wall to walk over to him. "Nah, they're boring. And besides, nobody wants to talk to me." He poked Barnaby's shoulder. "They just want to talk about youuuu."_

_Barnaby rolled his eyes and grabbed Kotetsu's finger. "Stop acting like an idiot."_

_"Hey, respect your elders." Kotetsu pulled his hand away. "Want to grab some ice cream before we have to head back?"_

_"Sure," Barnaby said._

_It was then, walking along the sidewalk with Kotetsu and eating ice cream, that Barnaby had his answer._

__This _was the happiest he'd ever been.  
_

***

Things happen more quickly after that. Kaede calls her grandmother and uncle to shout that Kotetsu is awake, much to the chagrin of the nurse who reminds them phones aren't allowed in the ICU. The doctors come in to poke and prod at him and ask him a lot of questions that Kotetsu can only answer by either nodding or shaking his head or making increasingly irritated grunts. 

Barnaby has to stand off to the side and watch Kotetsu attempt to communicate without being able to talk, and barely stifles his laughter. 

Kaede's phone buzzes. "Grandma and Uncle Muramasa are here," she announces. "And Mr. Jackson." 

Barnaby knows what this means. "We'll need to go let them in." 

Kotetsu makes a questioning grunt. 

"They only let two people in ICU at a time, Dad," Kaede says. 

The next grunt sounds irritated. 

Barnaby snorts and pushes his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose. "We don't make the rules." He squeezes Kotetsu's hand again. "Antonio's on his way as well." 

Kotetsu grunts again, but this one sounds resigned. 

"Don't worry, Dad, we'll be back soon." Kaede kisses him on the cheek. "Barnaby and I haven't left the hospital since you were brought here." 

The next grunt sounds shocked and _definitely_ displeased, and Kotetsu glares at Barnaby. 

Barnaby grabs Kaede by the shoulder to usher her out of the room. "We'll send the others in." 

He's pretty sure the angry groan following them out of the room means Barnaby will face retribution later.

***

The other heroes show up throughout the day as word spreads, thanks to Ben and Kaede, because God knows Barnaby isn't doing it. He tried to call Antonio, but even attempting the words "He's awake" threatened to break him again, and the others seemed to be handling spreading the news well enough.

Antonio gets there first, unsurprisingly, and stays in Kotetsu's room until Keith and Ivan show up to oust him. It's a little easier for Barnaby to stay in the waiting room now, knowing that Kotetsu is awake and doing well.

Antonio joins him in the waiting room after he's kicked out of the ICU, sitting like a giant, silent rock on the couch next to Barnaby. 

"Did Kotetsu ever tell you how he and Tomoe got together?" he says out of nowhere after five solid minutes of nothing. 

Barnaby raises his eyebrows. "No? I never asked."

Kotetsu never asks about his parents, Barnaby never asks about his wife. It's one of the unspoken rules they've had since the beginning. Barnaby knows he'll talk to Kotetsu about his parents when he feels like talking about them, but it's oddly comforting to know Kotetsu will never ask him to.

"When he was in high school, he and Tomoe circled around each other for _months_ ," Antonio continues. "She must have spent ages trying to get him to see that she was interested, but he missed every single signal she threw his way. Which made it really annoying to listen to him talk about how much he liked her."

Barnaby has no idea where this conversation is going, but he's not sure if he's going to like it. 

"After most of a year, he'd finally decided to ask her out, and he chickened out halfway through," Antonio says. "Tomoe grabbed him by the collar, called him an idiot, and kissed him. That was what finally got it through his head that she wanted to date him as much as he wanted to date her." 

"Why are you telling me this?" Barnaby asks. 

Antonio gives him a flat look. "Kotetsu is my best friend, and he is very good at a lot of things, but he never recognizes when people are into him. Ever. So people who are into him are going to have to be very, very blunt about it."

Barnaby stares at him. "Okay?" 

Antonio shrugs awkwardly and stands up. "Just some friendly advice. I'll see you around."

Barnaby watches Antonio leave, still not entirely sure what had just happened.

***

It's just after six that evening when they take Kotetsu off the ventilator, and he coughs for five minutes straight before he can speak. When he says, "Hey, Bunny," his voice sounds raspy and disused from a two-day coma and a tube down his throat.

It's still the best thing Barnaby's heard all week.

***

The doctors say Kotetsu's healing much faster than they expected. Barnaby takes one look at the way he doesn't quite meet their eyes when they're making those comments and just _knows_ what he's been doing when no one else is looking.

Still. He's not going to complain.

When the doctors confirm that Kotetsu will be out of the hospital by the weekend, Barnaby goes home, collapses on his bed, and sleeps for sixteen hours straight.

***

He doesn't budge until his phone rings for the third time. He opens one eye and flips it open. "Hello?" 

The video blinks to life, but he can't see anything beyond two blurry dark-haired figures crammed together in front of the camera. He can take a stab at who it is.

"Hey, Bunny!" Kotetsu says. "Did we wake you up?" 

He buries his face in his pillow. "It's fine."

"No, it's not! Kaede told me that you didn't sleep at all at the hospital. You need to take care of yourself, too. Go back to sleep." 

Honestly, just knowing Kotetsu is better helps more than any amount of sleep he could get. "I slept." Barnaby sits up and scrubs his hands over his face. "I'll be there in half an hour."

The way Kotetsu takes a breath tells him there's a reprimand on the way, so Barnaby quickly adds, "I'll bring breakfast."

"Breakfast!" Kaede sounds delighted. "Will you bring breakfast burritos?" 

"They still won't let me have solid foods," Kotetsu grumbles. 

"You'll be out in three days," Barnaby reminds him. "I'll make you fried rice."

"I'm holding you to that," Kotetsu says. "Hey, is that your rabbit?" 

Barnaby feels heat crawl up his face, and he sees the pink blur on the bed behind him. He reaches for his glasses on the bedside table. "Yes, and?" 

"Were you sleeping with it?" 

He usually does, but he is never admitting that to anyone. "No. I came home and went straight to bed. I told you, I don't have anywhere else to put it." 

"Its name is Bunny-chan, Dad," Kaede says innocently. 

Barnaby freezes with his glasses halfway on his face. 

"Huh?" Kotetsu says. 

"The rabbit is Bunny-chan," Kaede says again.

Now, of course, Barnaby can see that Kotetsu looks like Kaede just handed him the world's best birthday present. "Is it _really_?"

Barnaby suddenly and powerfully regrets ever bringing her into his apartment. "I'll be there soon," he says, and flips the phone closed before he can hear anything else.

(Unsurprisingly, Kotetsu spends the next two days calling him Bunny-chan. Barnaby has to work harder than usual to pretend to be annoyed about it.)

***

"You're cutting them too small." 

Barnaby exhales exasperatedly and elbows Kotetsu out of his cooking space. Again. "Do you really not have anything better to do?" 

"You're making fried rice," Kotetsu says. "I'm the fried rice expert. I have to make sure you're doing it right." 

He tries to snag a carrot off the cutting board, and Barnaby slaps his hand away. "You have to make sure you're _resting._ You've only been out of the hospital for a week." 

Kotetsu grins at him, the same one that always makes Barnaby's heart do stupid things. "Oh, come on, look at me! I'm perfectly fine. I can help you cook." 

Barnaby gives him a significant look. "You still need help getting your shirt on in the morning." 

Kotetsu crosses his arms and huffs. "It doesn't hurt _that_ much." 

Barnaby rolls his eyes. Although the doctors said Kotetsu was doing well enough to go home after less than a week in the hospital, they also said someone would need to stay with him to make sure he didn't overdo it. Barnaby volunteered without a second thought.

For the most part, he doesn't regret the decision. Kotetsu swings between being determined to do everything himself (even when he can't) and asking for Barnaby's help with every little thing. Barnaby can't decide if it's annoying or endearing. It's both, in a strange way, which summarizes basically his entire relationship with Kotetsu.

Still, it's a minor miracle neither of them have tried to smother the other while they sleep. 

Kotetsu attempts to sneak another handful of carrots, and Barnaby drops the knife and pushes him out of the kitchen. "Out. Go bother your daughter until dinner's ready." 

"But Bunny-chan," Kotetsu whines. 

Barnaby crosses his arms and blocks the kitchen. "My name is _Barnaby,_ old man."

" _Barnaby_ ," Kotetsu repeats in the same tone, because he is actually five. 

_I have terrible taste in people_ , Barnaby thinks. "Stay out of the kitchen so I can finish dinner." 

For a second, it looks like Kotetsu's going to argue or follow him back in, but then Kaede yells from down the hall, " _Dad,_ quit bothering Barnaby or we're _never_ going to eat!" 

Kotetsu throws up his hands and groans. "Why do I have _both_ of you ganging up on me now?" 

Barnaby grins to himself and goes back to the kitchen, leaving Kotetsu to go grumbling off down the hall. Kaede left at the beginning of the week to go back to school, but she'd ridden the bus back to Stern Bild for the weekend. He has a feeling she'll be back every weekend for the foreseeable future. 

Not that he blames her. If he weren't the one staying with Kotetsu, he'd still be over here as often as he could. 

Without the constant interruptions, it doesn't take him long to finish dinner, and he puts the rice in a serving bowl and heads down the hall to get Kotetsu and Kaede. 

Before he calls out, he hears Kaede say, "Dad, are you and Barnaby dating?" 

Barnaby stops moving. 

"Huh? No, why would you ask me something like that?" 

"Because sometimes you act the same way around him that you did around Mom," Kaede says quietly. 

_Oh hell_. Barnaby stares at the half-open door. He's starting to get the feeling that he shouldn't be standing here. 

Kotetsu laughs softly, and it sounds bittersweet. "You remember that, huh?" 

"A little," Kaede says.

Barnaby _definitely_ shouldn't be standing here. He's going back to the kitchen, and he's going to yell for them from there, and he's going to pretend that he didn't hear any of that.

"We're not," Kotetsu says. "Barnaby doesn't think of me that way." 

Barnaby stops in his tracks again, because _what_.

"What?" Kaede sounds surprised. 

"Sometimes things happen that way," Kotetsu says. "You like someone, they don't like you back. It's okay, you just have to—" 

There's a soft _thwap_. "Are you _really_ that dense?" 

"Ow," Kotetsu says plaintively. "Why did you hit me?" 

Kaede groans. "Do you _know_ he doesn't like you back? Did he say that?" 

_No_ , Barnaby thinks, _because we have literally never talked about it._  
  
"Well...no, not exactly..." 

There's another _thwap._ "Then how do you _know_?" 

"Quit hitting me," Kotetsu mutters. "Why are you so interested in my love life, anyway?" 

"Because you're my _dad_ ," Kaede says. "Besides, someone has to make sure that you're eating okay." 

"I eat fine, quit listening to your grandmother," Kotetsu grumbles. "Look, Bunny's been through a lot, okay? He doesn't need some old man creeping on him. Besides, we're partners." 

Barnaby facepalms. He thought Kotetsu had to have known on some level that he was stupidly in love with him, because Barnaby is fairly sure he _has not_ been subtle. At all. But apparently, he is in love with an idiot. 

He remembers what Antonio said about Kotetsu and Tomoe, and _now_ he understands why they had that entire conversation.

Barnaby knocks on the door. "Dinner's ready. Kaede, can you give your dad and me a minute?" 

Kaede practically springs off the bed. "Sure. Thanks for dinner!" 

She's out the door in a second, leaving them alone.

Kotetsu rubs the back of his neck and glances around the room with the panicked look of a man who knows damn well what was overheard, but is searching for an explanation anyway. "Uh, hey, Bunny, what did you want to talk about?" 

Barnaby stalks across the room, grabs him by the vest, and kisses him. It's...probably not great, because he has very little idea what he's doing and Kotetsu is frozen, but at least it gets the point across. He hopes.

When he pulls back, Kotetsu is staring at him in shock. 

"You're an idiot," Barnaby says flatly. "Now come get some dinner."

He turns to walk back out and is nearly out the door when Kotetsu grabs his arm. "Wait, wait, wait, Bunny, _wait_." 

Barnaby stops and turns back, and Kotetsu nearly runs into him. "What?"

"I—" Kotetsu starts, and then, amazingly, doesn't have anything else to say. He just stares, and for once, Barnaby doesn't have any idea what he's thinking. 

Then Kotetsu kisses him, gently, like he's precious and fragile, and Barnaby's knees nearly give out, and he has to hold onto Kotetsu so he doesn't fall over. He thinks Kotetsu has never been gentle with anyone or anything in his life, and then he just as quickly thinks that's not true. He _can_ be, but just as often chooses not to be because that isn't what the situation calls for.

That he's choosing to be so _now_ makes Barnaby's heart flutter painfully. 

Kotetsu cups his cheek and strokes his thumb lightly across it, and Barnaby shivers. 

"Are you done talking yet?" Kaede yells from down the hall. "Dinner's getting cold!"

Kotetsu curses softly, and leans back and shouts, "No, we're not done talking!" 

"Are you done making out?" 

Barnaby chokes on a laugh, and Kotetsu sputters. "We're not—what are you—where did you learn that?!"

"I'm _eleven_ , Dad," Kaede says, like that explains everything. "And I'm going to eat all the fried rice without you."

"We're coming!" Barnaby calls down the hall. 

Kotetsu's face falls. "But...but...you wanted to talk." 

"No." Barnaby pokes him. "I wanted to correct the idiotic idea you had that I didn't like you. We've done that. Now we can eat." 

Kotetsu glances away and blushes. "I knew you liked me. It just wasn't clear if it was, you know, as more than a friend."

Barnaby rolls his eyes and starts toward the main room. "How _many_ people do you think I would move in with to take care of when they get out of the hospital?" 

Kotetsu follows after him. "How was I supposed to know that was a declaration of intent? You spend most of the time yelling at me!" 

"We spend most of our time yelling at each other in general," Barnaby reminds him. "I don't see what that has to do with anything."

Kaede is sitting at the table, rapidly typing on her phone with one hand in between bites of fried rice. "Are you two dating now?" 

Kotetsu slowly lowers himself into his chair. "Uh, well..." 

Barnaby sits down and dishes up rice for both of them. "Yes." 

"What?" Kotetsu jerks his head around to Barnaby. "But you haven't even asked me if I want to!" 

"Oh my _God_ , Dad, seriously?" Kaede says. 

"Hey, it's important to talk through these things before you just go around announcing them!" Kotetsu argues. 

Barnaby raises his eyebrows. "Kotetsu, do you want to date me?" 

Kotetsu crosses his arms and huffs. "Well, I don't know now, since apparently you're the type to go off and make major announcements like that without even consulting with me."

But Barnaby can see him fighting a smile. 

"Hm." Barnaby taps his chin. "Maybe I don't want to date you, either, since you have so much difficulty talking about your feelings." 

"Hey, I talk about my feelings plenty!" 

Kaede groans. "You two are so weird."

"Fine, we're dating," Kotetsu says. "I hope you're happy." 

Barnaby can feel heat on his cheeks, which means he's definitely blushing, and he can't stop the stupid, fond smile he knows is spreading across his face. "Very." 

From the surprised and pleased smile Kotetsu gives him, Barnaby guesses he feels the same way. 

" _So_ weird," Kaede mutters again.

***

That night, Barnaby doesn't stay on the couch. 

Kotetsu is a much, _much_ better bed partner than Bunny-chan.

***

_Months later, Barnaby will be doing an interview and the interviewer will ask him, with a laugh, "So, it's been a few years since we've asked you this question. Is there anybody special in your life now?"_

_"Yes," he'll say without even thinking about it._

_She will look surprised and thrilled. "Oh? And who's the lucky lady?"_

__It's not a lady _, he will think. "It's a secret," he will say._

_"Well, congratulations! How long have you two been together?"_

__Three years. _"About four months."_  
_  
"And how did you know when you were in love?"_

_He will think about how Kotetsu was the first person in twenty years to actually care about him, about hard-earned trust and how he found it with the last person he would have ever expected. He will think about a burned sash and a Christmas tree pin and a stupid nickname that sounds like the most beautiful thing in the world when Kotetsu says it._

_He will think about learning to cook and sharing a bed and driving out to the bluffs around the city to look up at the stars. He will think about the way their fingers fit together, soft kisses, the way Kotetsu looks at him like he can't believe he's this lucky. He will think about the dozens of times they've saved each other, in large and small ways, most of which other people will never, ever see._

_There are a thousand meaningful moments when he saw the depth of his feelings, each building on top of the other and breaking down the walls he spent so many years constructing, and he could mention any one of them._

_But what he will tell her is the absolute truth, the most honest answer he's ever given._

_"When I spent an entire weekend learning to cook fried rice."  
_

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://mad-madam-m.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mad_madam_m)!


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